Fight with knives

unicornery: Happy Birthday Deborah! Shonen Knife - Cookie...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:40:10 -0600

Happy Birthday Deborah!

Shonen Knife - Cookie Day

There is nothing about this song that isn’t totally perfect. Thank you so much!

jhnbrssndn:biteofpythias:tanya77: Amazon fulfillment centers...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 13:08:36 -0600

Amazon fulfillment centers sound like a petrie dish for the next super virus.

“Warned that the company refuses to allow sick leave, even if the worker has a legitimate doctor’s note. Taking a day off sick, even with a note, results in a penalty point. A worker with six points faces dismissal….

“Made to walk up to 14 miles a shift to collect items for packing….

“Made to work a compulsory 10-hour overnight shift at the end of a five-day week. The overnight shift, which runs from Saturday evening to 5am on Sunday, means they have to work every day of the week.”

Ugh. Free super saver shipping, indeed.

There are a million things I wish were done better with this story— you know, reporting, distinguishing between UK and US labor conditions and laws, using all recent information, heading the story with some decent metadata— but it’s still extremely disturbing.

Added to my list of to-dos for next week

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 11:30:22 -0600

Added to my list of to-dos for next week:

George, I think we should take the Patricia Highsmith Greenwich Village tour.

Friday Morning Dance Party: Cibo Matto - “Birthday...

Fri, 11 Dec 2009 10:25:26 -0600

Friday Morning Dance Party: Cibo Matto - “Birthday Cake”

HEY IT’S MY BIRTHDAY.

The other night someone asked me what my blog was about and I answered my usual, “Feminism, pop music, and food.” He then said, “I’m trying to think of something that would combine those three subjects…” and I came up with Cibo Matto. That’s the best answer, right? Can you think of a better one?

I used to own a copy of Viva! La Woman on cassette, I think. Maybe. Maybe someone else had it and I just listened to it. Either way, an mp3 of “Birthday Cake” still lingers in my iTunes for days when I just want to pogo around my apartment a la Debbie Harry in TV Party without concern for my downstairs neighbors.

One day I might have a son who will turn 30 and I will make him a cake and play him this song and he’ll shake his head at his crazy feminist cooking mom.

In honor of that, let’s all sing along: I DON’T GIVE A FLYING FUCK, THOUGH.

With that, you and I just had a moment, friends.

Yeah, I'm bummed by Editor and Publisher folding.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:48:46 -0600

Yeah, I'm bummed by Editor and Publisher folding.

"Consider the punk rocker lifestyle. Its dysfunctional nature advocates the dismantling of social..."

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 12:34:06 -0600

“Consider the punk rocker lifestyle. Its dysfunctional nature advocates the dismantling of social order. Only dysfunctional people are drawn to such a chaotic lifestyle. Their houses, cars, personal appearance and relationships are all one big disorderly mess. If you were to stop taking care of your house and personal appearance, they would gradually and spontaneously start resembling this lifestyle.”

- Principles 101: Feminism, Manhood, and You, via Jezebel

Why is Jezebel focusing on this online-only unpublished ms? I don’t know. But this quote illustrates why I am cleaning my house today: to save myself from being a punk rocker.

Wednesday Morning Dance Party: Radiohead -...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 10:46:00 -0600

Wednesday Morning Dance Party: Radiohead - “Idioteque”

One day, in late 2000 or early 2001, we were sent home from school early because there were two inches of snow on the ground, and the administration wasn’t too concerned about new drivers skidding all over the road.

So I learned to drive in the snow and felt like I was the first person to discover that Kid A is the greatest winter weather album of all time. When the snow’s rushing at your windshield like hyperspace and you’re trying to stop yourself from skidding off the bridge, something literally snowpacolyptic like “ice age comin ice age comin” really hits the spot.

This WMDP is in honor of re-learning to drive in the snow, every year, with the help of Radiohead.

This is just a reminder of what happens when you lay off all...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 20:40:17 -0600

This is just a reminder of what happens when you lay off all your copy editors.

Adventures in America

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 17:15:53 -0600

After purchasing a couch at Ikea, I decided to go over to the Mall of America across the street to look at televisions in Best Buy. I went in at a different entrance, the one near Sears, because I wanted to do some television pricing. It is wise to be a comparative shopper.

So that entrance also happens to be the one next to Barnes & Noble, which was hosting a signing for my least favorite person in America: the former governor of Alaska and former vice-presidential nominee. She was there, 50 feet from me in her trademark red, surrounded by blue and silver tinsel and trees as well as a number of aides and security folks. There was a small crowd, which featured a number of women wearing t-shirts with Palin’s head photoshopped onto Rosie the Riveter. This pissed me off to no end (save Rosie from photoshop mutilation!) but I didn’t let it get to me because I try not to drink the SP haterade. I can’t stand that she exists and disagree with pretty much everything about her, but dissing on America’s Favorite Hockey Mom kinda bores me and occasionally borders on sexism, so I just texted people and asked if they wanted signed copies of Going Rogue for Christmas.

As I got lost in the mall, I thought of activities Sarah Palin and I could do together since we were both in the Greatest Mall in the Country at the exact same time. Here’s a partial list:

purchase and wear matching “I Put Ketchup on my Ketchup” t-shirts.
go to MagiQuest and fight out what being a feminist really means in Tolkienian majesty. She would be a Goblin and I would be a Dragon.
take Old Timey photos at the Old Timey photo shop. We’d both dress as hookers and sit on the piano, naturally. We’d get the photos made into keychains cos I’m in the market for a new keychain.
Sephora makeovers!
get really drunk at the crappy Italian restaurant that offered half-priced wine and fight over whether we should see New Moon at 7:20 or Boondock Saints II at 7:40. At a security guard’s encouragement, we wind up instead at the 7:00 2012 (10 minutes late) in the motion seats, which lead to motion sickness on both of our parts and a red wine mess on the theater floor.

"Delaware is a vast, corrupt, corporate scam of a state, and they are ripping us all off."

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 16:46:00 -0600

“Delaware is a vast, corrupt, corporate scam of a state, and they are ripping us all off.”

- In New York magazine’s “Major Works of Counterintuitive Thought from the Past Decade.”

It’s true; I come from an evil, evil place that encourages people to write grammatically incorrect sentences.

aceterrier: cureforbedbugs: girlboymusic: When I was three...

Mon, 07 Dec 2009 11:35:34 -0600

aceterrier:

cureforbedbugs:

girlboymusic:

When I was three years old, just before Christmas, ABC aired a Jim Henson production called The Christmas Toy. My parents were like, “They’ll probably show this every year till we want to kill ourselves, but let’s tape it anyway,” and THANK GOD THEY DID, because The Christmas Toy never aired again. I imagine thousands — nay, millions — of children grew up with a a gnawing, unsatisfied longing to once again watch Rugby the Tiger, his red-headed doll rival Apple, and a cat toy named Mew learn the true meaning of Christmas and friendship, but I? I had that old VHS tape, and I hauled it out every single Christmas to watch it over and over again.

Half the fun was watching the commercials — the show had been sponsored by Kraft, so every commercial break brought new “delicious” holiday recipes you could make using Kraft food products.

The Christmas Toy came out on video six or seven years ago, and on DVD a little after that, so I haven’t watched the original VHS in quite a while. I never realized how utterly fucking horrifying those Kraft recipes were. Enjoy.

You’ve been talking about this all day, but it was only when you described it here (“Rugby the Tiger”!!!!!) that you broke my brain as a Proustian black hole opened up and I remembered watching this on my parents’ bed as a small child. (IIRC it was piggybacking off of the weird Jim Henson Nu-Muppets with the white tigers and the spaceship and the…) And, um, almost started crying. I’m going to be having random chills for the rest of the day, awesome!

I too remember this.

1.) The Christmas Toy remains ridiculously good. All incarnations of Toy Story are the shiny new toy ripoffs of Rugby, Mew & co. You are stunning, Meteora.

2.) You’re all getting a ham platter with Velveeta singles for Christmas.

Spoon - “Black Like Me” Yeah, so the new song makes...

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:28:41 -0600

Spoon - “Black Like Me”

Yeah, so the new song makes me pump my fist, but this one’s pretty good too and I’ve been drunk since 1pm.

The City of Minneapolis isn’t shy about asking you to...

Fri, 04 Dec 2009 11:27:00 -0600

The City of Minneapolis isn’t shy about asking you to spread the Snow Emergency word because your friends can’t pay attention on their own.

At least they gave the graphic design intern an opportunity to create various avatars depending on one’s Snow Emergency personality. Unfortunately, none of these photos allows a user to insert his face into a gif of an ever-increasing snow drift, or depicts one’s face when she finds out her car has been towed.

So if there’s a Snow Emergency, change your Facebook picture up. It’s your civic fucking duty.

But are you going to pay for or reduce the cost of birth control? Please?

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 12:10:14 -0600

But are you going to pay for or reduce the cost of birth control? Please?

GPOYW: New haircut + Pho. Not quite Michelle Williams on the...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:15:00 -0600

GPOYW: New haircut + Pho.

Not quite Michelle Williams on the cover of Vogue, which was the direction I gave, but it’s pretty great. I don’t think anyone else reads Vogue anymore and I’d rather make psychotic Muppet faces than Michelle Williams ones.

I told myself I’d stop using Photobooth, but I’m not going anywhere tonight, so to whom will I show off my salon hair and fantastic lunch?

Wednesday Morning Dance Party: April March - “Chick...

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 10:14:00 -0600

Wednesday Morning Dance Party: April March - “Chick Habit”

AREN’T YOU GLAD IT’S NOT WOODY ALLEN’S BIRTHDAY ANYMORE???!!!???

Years ago, at my first publishing job, I read the proposal for this book. It was rejected.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 09:30:00 -0600

Years ago, at my first publishing job, I read the proposal for this book. It was rejected.:

Now it is all big and published and can be reamed by N+1.* God knows how much it has been changed from the Houghton Mifflin proposal to the HarperCollins publication.

I would reflect on how much I have changed too, but you already know about that. However, the fact that this proposal was originally rejected by the sales department was my first indication that publishing wasn’t all I wanted it to be. The proposal was so lovely! How would it not sell?

But, although it was beloved by all the with-it female editors in the office, Nehring’s manuscript was struck down in favor of something like another Lord of the Rings movie cover.

*If you ever wonder why I haven’t moved back to New York, it is not because of HarperCollins or Houghton Mifflin; it is because of N+1.

via NatashaVC

Read to Me Tuesday is such a marvelous idea.

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:09:22 -0600

Read to Me Tuesday is such a marvelous idea.:

unicornery reads Pagan Kennedy and I squeal.

One day I will tell you about how much Pagan Kennedy changed my life. She totally wins over Diablo Cody, for reals.

The Replacements - “Kiss Me on the Bus” One of the...

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:42:27 -0600

The Replacements - “Kiss Me on the Bus”

One of the constructions that appeared in many conversations with friends recently has been, “Well, if you were an adult, you would…” or “I did the adult thing to do, which was…” or “You know, be an adult.” Whether in hilarious irony or in all seriousness, I imagine most people in their mid- to late-20s start throwing the A-word around, all of us attempting to prove our maturity or inability to grow up by comparing our behavior to that of real “adults,” even though no one really knows what that means.

For Paul Westerberg, being an adult means that you’re not into PTDAs (Public Transportation Displays of Affection), and that’s extremely lame. Waiting to get home to start making out is something that married people do, and you’re young and virile and on the 4 going back to Northeast from the CC Club. Mature people have cars; you’re on the bus and it’s cold from the draft of the window, but the person next to you is warm and jazzed and ready to go. Waiting is for adults. Give in to the adolescent temptation.

Do New Yorkers dress as Miranda when they go to 90s parties?

Tue, 01 Dec 2009 11:24:03 -0600

In one night in mid-November while I was hurriedly working on my NaNo novel, I decided to not only place the first season of Sex and the City on my Netflix queue, but also to move it right to the number one position. Thus, the only celebratory DVDs I had to watch last night were Four Months, Three Weeks, Two Days (the Romanian abortion movie, which I will watch this week but it was a little intense for last night) and Season One, Disc One of the Series I Always Hated But Wanted to Give A Chance.

Now I realize that when my friends were having Sex and the City parties and I didn’t go, that they were probably calling me “a Miranda” behind my back. And I guess it’s ok because I am brainy and feministy and have short hair and it’s ok to be reduced to a type for a half an hour if it’s really funny. Because it’s easy to realize how shallow and reductive those characters are, but I admitted last night that (when you ignore the overconsumption and vapidity) it’s all pretty hilarious. No really, it is. Also, that Mr. Big dude is pretty attractive. I know that Season Six sucks a lot more, but I can get with this Season One thing.

I mean, that’s all I wanted to say, I guess. We get older, and we move away from New York, and we can appreciate Sex and the City and thank god that we don’t call ourselves “Carries” anymore. We don’t, right?*

*Sorry about this moronic post, but I just had to get it out there.