Fight with knives

Nov 06 2009
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A decade into the 21st century, selecting a toaster has become so difficult. Here are some samples from various online toaster reviews:

  • “I am very happy with this toaster. It works perfectly. And it looks great in my kitchen. I like how it holds the bread in place as it toasts and how I can control the crispness of the toasts.”
  • “I bought this because Consumer Reports rated it high. This just proves that they can be wrong sometimes. The $7 toaster that this one replaced was a lot better in toasting… My Cuisinart toaster consistently burns the top of any bread/bagel/pastry I try to toast/heat, no matter what setting I use.”
  • “I put a delicious Cherry Poptart into the belly of the beast. I again set the shiny dial at 3 and waited for the results. The corners and top of my Cherry Poptart had turned to the color of coal. Plus, the whole house now smells like burnt plastic from my crappy toaster… : (“
  • “This time I just wanted something that would do our toast, poptarts and hamburger buns! THIS ONE DOES ALL OF THIS GREAT! It has wide slots and we can do our buns which is great as hubby likes his toasted! Also if something short is to low to grab, just push up on the lever and it raises it up a bit so you can grab it! All in all, it is a super, simple but nice looking toaster!”
  • “I gave this as a wedding gift and so far they love it in New York!!”
  • “I bought this toaster just wanting something simple. I am quite happy with it. Holds a wider piece of bread just fine. I usually set the level down to 1 or 2 the first time just to make sure I don’t burn my toast. Every toaster is a bit different. I like the cancel button. Hit that when you think it’s done and it pops up, no problems.”
  • “cheap, and bad. you can get a better one from other store for like [price]. why would anyone pay 20 for this? spend 20 more and get a nice 4 slice toaster!! DONT BUY unless youre the idiot.”

I am the idiot. Why would a single girl ever need to toast four slices of bread? How should I balance my need for well-toasted bread with conflicting reviews? I don’t eat poptarts; should I worry? Should I bring slices of my preferred bread to the store just to make sure the toaster is wide enough? Should I get a one-year or a three-year toaster warranty? What will they think in New York?

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Nov 05 2009
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Sloan - “Everything You’ve Done Wrong”

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(via bunkercomplex)

This is my 1000th liked post. Hooray! Punctuation humor wins.

Original, unharried content will return soon, I promise.

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Nov 04 2009
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I’m not reading. I’m checking for movement.

Don’t ever stay in apartment with bedbugs. If you do, you start questioning everything.

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Wednesday Morning Dance Party (Play It Fucking Loud! Day): Les Savy Fav - “We’ve Got Boxes”

Electioneers, marathoners, November novelists, those in the hard throes of the semester, and those in the bowels of the archives: are you sleeping with your shoes on?

And, oh yeah, I’m moving this week. So I’ve got boxes. (And buttons, cos I know how to sew now, y’hear?)

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perpetua:

Sleigh Bells
“Crown on the Ground”
Live in NYC, 9/30/2009


This is something we should all be getting very excited about. More on this later in the week.

Look, I’m some days late to the Sleigh Bells party, but I haven’t heard a song I’ve liked this much all year. God, I hope this is what the next decade sounds like.

I know you’ll like it too.

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Nov 03 2009
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Bright Eyes - “Oh You Are the Roots that Sleep”

Since the Monsters of Folk concert last Thursday, I’ve disappeared into my now-quarterly Bright Eyes obsessive listening tendencies. And this fits, I think, with today and this week and this month and this year.

So thanks, all, for holding the earth in place.

Happy birthday, Andy.

Rest in peace, Claude Lévi-Strauss.

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Nov 02 2009
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Another tasty nightcap.

These are for sale and if you buy one (whether or not you’re wearing those bedroom eyes), I’ll objectify you, too!

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In search of the perfect nightcap

My work schedule now keeps me up at night, usually until 2 or 3 or so, and I’m usually pumped enough when I get home so I’m not quite ready to go to bed. I’ve been around booze all night, and I stalk into my living room for a drink, with which I’ll relax and read and write and check my email. Last week I made hot toddies, which always serve me well and make me feel snuggly when I’m by myself (ah, alcohol!), but I’m looking to expand, to become the Nightcap Queen.

So, friends, what should I try other than bourbon? Should I be exploring the wonders of brandy? What nightcaps do you prefer?

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